Unifinished Comics: The Eternals by Neil Gaiman and J. Romita Jr.

I couldn’t get thru this thing. The Eternals is a snooze. It is to boredom what a head-on auto collision is to fear and pain: a cataclysm that can be outlived but never analyzed. So don’t ask me why this comic is so bad; just chip in to my hospital fund.

John Romita Jr.’s stuff is fine; he’s not the problem here. Neil Gaiman is, and he baffles me. A few years ago I did a piece about him for The Comics Journal, one that featured a lush aria detailing all the ways a Gaiman script can run aground. As far as I can tell, none of those ways are present here. The Eternals features straightahead, streamlined storytelling with the occasional imaginative touch that … Christ, it’s still boring.

Years ago I worked for a bright, energetic fellow who screwed up everything he touched. He had incompetence in its purest form; no other factors assisted him in his production of disaster. Gaiman has a similar isolated gift for producing boredom. He didn’t use to: about 40% of his Sandman run counts as the most entertaining bunch of comics I’ve read. Then the rot crept it and then it spread and then I had finished The Kindly Ones and never got around to The Wake.

Some people you just can’t appreciate, but I sure used to appreciate him and it’s not like his new stuff is so different from what came before. In fact it’s too much the same old but with the removal of key elements that I’m pretty sure include fresh dialogue, unexpected ideas, and interesting balloon-caption-picture interplay. So maybe there’s the problem. But why did those elements go missing? He isn’t even 50 yet; Wodehouse kept churning out his formula for half a century and it stayed fresh.

An additional mystery: I have never met anyone who said they liked Gaiman’s post-’93 comics, but figures indicate that people buy the stuff in great quantities. 1602 was top seller for its year, I believe, and won some sort of award.

His books aren’t so bad, those that I’ve read. They rehash his old ideas, but I can get thru them. Coraline underwhelmed me, but American Gods was all right; a friend found the reverse. Whatever. They’re still a long way down the slope from the Sandman issues that I liked. Maybe I’m just older; then again I really liked “A Study in Emerald,” so I think I can still respond to what he’s got when he bothers to bring it along. He just doesn’t bother, and why not?

Anyway, I took The Eternals out from the library, so no money was lost. That fucking thing … I couldn’t get thru it.

0 thoughts on “Unifinished Comics: The Eternals by Neil Gaiman and J. Romita Jr.

  1. I liked the Sandman run all the way through; I thought the end was very nicely done. I agree that his later stuff is somnolent, though.

    I love that this is a continuing series. There are so many comics out there that shouldn’t be finished….

  2. You liked The Tempest? Damn. I did read that, because it was one issue, and it nearly killed me.

    As for The Kindly Ones … damn. “Remembered if outlived, first the something, then the something, then the letting go …” Christ, it was boring!

  3. Well, I haven’t read it in a long time. Maybe I should go try to get through the whole thing again….at some point.

  4. The Eternals was pretty bad. The set-up had some promise, but by midway point is was just an interminable Kirby knock-off without Kirby. The end was actually the worst part….but here’s me anticipating 2 Gaiman Batman issues after Morrison finishes his run. I’m cruising for more bruising, for whatever reason.

  5. His novels have been hit or miss lately. I work in a kidslit bookstore, so most of what I’ve seen is his chapter books. That said, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so let down and deflated as I felt after reading Interworld. On the other hand, The Graveyard Book is one of the best chapter books and/or fantasy novels I read last year.

  6. He’s an odd one, that Gaiman. I couldn’t get through much of Eternals. His YA books are very entertaining, though. I find his “adult” books a snooze but I know many like them.

    On the other hand, if you see his blurb on the back of a book, it’s a good bet! He’s “blurbed” Pinkwater, Diana Wynne Jones, Kelly Link, so…at least his heart is in the right place.