A month or so ago I learned about the existence of Obama slash; fan fiction stories devoted to the apocryphal gay sex life of our current President. There’s apparently a fair bit of it, with numerous pairings — Obama/Biden and Obama/Rahm Emanuel being two of the most popular.

I was intrigued because…well, it’s so wrong, isn’t it? It seemed like the sort of thing that *somebody* should want to pay me to write about. Sure enough, the good folks at Bitch magazine expressed interest. So I hunkered down to read me some Obama slash.

There was only one problem. What was that problem you ask? Well, here’s the semi-contrite, semi-agonized email I wrote to my esteemed Bitch editor Andi Zeisler:

Hey Andi. So I started reading some Obama slash…and I think I’m going to have to bow out. I kind of can’t take it. It’s really viscerally upsetting. Obama/Rahm is horrible enough, but there’s Barack/Michelle which I actually can’t even bear to look at, and god, Obama/Hillary Clinton. Argh.

Sorry; I didn’t quite realize I was going to find it quite so unpleasant. I’ve read other slash before, and found it entertaining, but there’s something about the real people…it’s just not worth the psychic trauma, I’m afraid.

So there you go. I’m just not enough of a man for Obama slash, basically.

Did I mention that I think Hillary Clinton is the person in the world that I *least* want to imagine having sex? *shudder*

Anyway, if you’re made of sterner stuff, below are some links to Obama slash communities:

main one

and a couple more here and here.