His latest movie, Whatever Works, stars Larry David (b. 1947) and Evan Rachel Wood (b. 1987). Slate says the romance between their characters is “weirdly” asexual. No, Slate, not “weirdly.” It is thankfully asexual. Thank God that age and nature have finally placed some limit to Woody Allen’s monstrous vanity.
I was going to write about Woody Allen for my Fandom Confessions contribution (the roundtable’s last entry is here). But I couldn’t. I hate him so much that my engine flooded. It’s complicated and has to do with my own life choices and so on, but he is one of the few celebrities I personally hate. It’s not the Soon-Yi business — that came well after I turned against him. More like the Soon-Yi business grew from the same traits that show up in his movies. Skill he’s got, he knows how to put together a smart-looking film, but he is so shallow and self-absorbed that he has nothing to say. Yet he keeps talking, and people think he’s serious because he takes himself seriously. People think he’s funny because he uses that damn hesitation stammer and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. People think … well, people don’t think. The movie’s playing at a theater with a little screen, so they figure it must be art. The movie ends before they get bored, so they figure it must be good.
In reviewing J. M. DeMatteis’s long-lost Jewish vampire story (h/t Miriam), Kristy Valenti mentions “the stereotype about what is bad in some of Allen’s films — a successful neurotic with an attractive mate who is inexorably drawn to a fresh young woman who makes him feel sexy.” Her phrasing implies that nothing else is bad about Woody Allen movies. As you may have noticed, I disagree. He has no imagination, no understanding of people, no feel for how they talk and behave. He keeps doing the same tricks over and over, and he trots out his cultural enthusiasms like a kid during freshman orientation week. Wow, Satchell Paige, “The Potatohead Blues,” Dostoevsky, Fred Astaire! And what was your SAT score?
His geezer-chick leanings disgust me not because I’m against matchups of that kind — like most geezers, I find much to recommend them — but because his geezers are so condescending toward their girls and because Allen doesn’t realize the matchups are unlikely. Sure, a young, beautiful girl wants to spend her time with a whiney fart whose neck is falling down, especially if the fart is not a millionaire or a brand-name film director. Allen thinks his stand-ins are entitled, and he thinks the girls are prizes to be awarded. The bigger the age difference, the more shocking the implied vanity. Now we have reached a difference of 40 years, and at least the old guy will keep his hands off the girl. But she still has to listen to him.
To me, the biggest problem with Woody is that he had 6-8 movies worth of things to say, but he went on to make 30 films. Also, as you've alluded to, he's had nothing interesting to say on the subject of aging. So when he keeps playing the same character at 40, 50,60…it sounds all these wrong notes which he ignores or is just oblivious to.
I just listened to Terri gross interview him Fresh Air a few days ago. He sounds totally deflated. I like his early comedy and I enjoyed Annie Hall, yet I agree with pretty much everything Tom wrote. At least he offers up enough to hate, if that makes sense..
I think Curb Your Enthusiasm is a great show… At least Larry David doesn't excuse his loathsomeness. He isn't neurotic but also incredibly smart and caring. He's a moron. Acknowledging that saves the day.
Yeah, his stuff up thru Love and Death was great. I remember when it was a stock phrase to say you liked his early stuff but not his serious stuff. But long ago I stopped making that caveat, I guess because time had passed and more and more bad movies separated me from his good stuff.
I love Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yeah, Larry David is all about showing how he's a jerk, as opposed to pretending there's something lovable about being neurotic and self-absorbed.
LOL! Woody Allen is one of the true geniuses of our – or any other – time, and admitting you hate him just demonstrates your own mental and emotional puniness.
And guess what, suckers? He's about to go to London to start work on the first of a 3 film deal with the folks that financed the extremely successful Vicky Cristina Barcelona. And beyond those I reckon he's got another 10-15 years of filmmaking ahead of him. Excellent!
And Uland – you actually spent 30 minutes listening to someone you hate being interviewed. Cretin!
Well, all right!
Yeah, take that, you assholes! If you dislike Woody, you're an immature idiot! Gotta love the drive-by anonymous insult. I'll just take the last word of his post as a signature.
By the way, I happen to love the Woodman, but come on, it's okay to have different opinions. Tom actually makes some very valid criticisms, especially concerning the portrayal of women in his films, but I feel like I'm able to look past that and get to the good stuff, whatever there is of it. I do like the verbal stuff, even if it's not realistic, and the observations on life can be interesting and intellectually stimulating, if not all that deep. And when he plays with the medium, coming up with fun formal exercises, I dig that sort of thing. And I do think he's funny, but it's definitely not to everyone's taste.
That said, he's definitely not working at the high level he used to reach, and his lows are really low these days. He still does interesting stuff, but I would say he's definitely past his prime. Not that I won't keep watching…