Long, long ago, before you were born, there were no people. There were no lamps. There was no television. There weren’t even cats!
Kangaroos ruled the earth!
This was the Ice Age. The kangaroos had especially thick, shaggy fur, so they weren’t too cold. But life was hard, because everything had to be made of ice. They had to make their chairs out of ice. They had to make their watches out of ice. They even had to make their mittens out of ice. And mittens made out of ice are not very warm.
When everything is made out of ice, there is not much to do. So mostly the kangaroos played golf. When their ice golf clubs shattered, they sat down right where they were and made new ones. Between playing golf and making golf clubs, they kept busy.
Only one kangaroo was dissatisfied. Molly did not like golf. Molly liked to read. But you can’t make a book out of ice. So she was sad.
One day, she reared up on her big kangaroo feet and she said, “I am SICK of ice! I am SICK of golf! I am going to go change the world RIGHT NOW!”
Her parents scratched their heads and twiddled their whiskers. “Are you sure?” they said.
“YES!” Molly said.
So her father packed her an ice bag full of ice to take with her, and her mother gave her her very best golf club, and they both hugged her and tried not to ask her again if she was sure because they knew that would annoy her.
So Molly went outside and lifted one foot up and then the other foot up and then she looked way up and then she jumped to the sun.
The sun was surprised. She didn’t have many visitors at this time of year. But she’d always been taught to be polite.
“Hello, Molly,” she said, trying not to melt Molly’s mother’s best golf club. “What can I do for you?”
Molly put her paws on her hips. “It is time to change the world!” she said. “I need you to start getting hotter and melt all that ice RIGHT NOW!”
The sun thought a bit. “I’m sorry, Molly,” she said. “I like watching golf. No changing the world today.” She smiled. Then she blew up, which was her way of saying, “Come back next Thursday, or possibly not at all.”
Molly drifted back to earth. She felt a little discouraged.
Down, down, down…wham! She landed on the golf course on her right ear. It hurt.
She got up and went back to mom and dad. “The sun was polite and yet also kind of mean,” she said. “My ice melted and my ice bag melted and my golf club melted and I landed on my right ear. It still hurts. Also I don’t think I changed the world.”
Her father kissed her ear and her mom gave her an ice cookie. They went outside and there was a big hole where Molly had landed on her ear,
And in the hole were cats! They came out and purred and rubbed against the kangaroos, because rubbing against the ice was uncomfortable.
“Huh,” said Molly, as a cat licked her ear. “I guess I changed the world a little bit. That’s not so bad.”
Maybe, she thought, she’d try again next Thursday.
I wrote this in hopes that a children’s book publisher might take it, but the agent I talked to said it was too weird and never write her again. My 10-year-old liked it though, and drew pictures for it (in very light pencil for some reason, which is why the scans are not so great.) His drawings were published earlier this week at The Book of Imaginary Beasts, which was edited by HU writer subdee.