Vampire Weekend: 30 Second Hate

This first ran on Metropulse way back when. I just refound it and it made me giggle, so I thought I’d reprint it here.
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The first sound on Contra is Ezra Koenig taking a deep breath. It’s the most precious thing you’ve ever heard—until “Horchata” kicks in, with its whoops-I’m-cute Calypso beats and New York-is-a-whimsical-wonderland lyrics. Apparently the band listened to Paul Simon’s Graceland and said to themselves, “Oh, tee hee—this would be sooo great if it were just a little less funky. Tee hee!”

Really, Contra is like some sort of reductio ad absurdum of ’00s indie rock—you listen to it and the connection between, say, Grizzly Bear and Raffi becomes ominously apparent. They’re just so adorable, these grinning manlings—oh, let me pinch their cheeks and smile inanely to their peppy jingles! I am so happy, and have a strange compulsion to quaff a soft drink!

I should at least enjoy “Diplomat’s Son.” I really dislike reggae, and this is probably as humiliating a desecration as the genre is ever likely to experience. But no, I can’t hack it. I’d rather hear “One Love” again, which is something I’d hoped never to have to say about any song, ever.
 

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11 thoughts on “Vampire Weekend: 30 Second Hate

  1. Fuck this namby pamby gentleman’s ‘rock’!Let’s fucking do some blow and put on some black leather and smoke some Kools and drink some real good brews at the Motorhead show! Relevance! – Noah “Metal” Berlatsky

  2. I reject the insinuation that only old people can hate Vampire Weekend. Vampire Weekend’s crappiness is timeless. People of all ages can unite in hating them.

  3. I think hate is more trouble than they are worth, but disliking reggae? It makes no sense to me when people discount whole genres. Plus, when people say “I hate hip hop” or “I hate reggae” I tend to give them the racial side-eye.

  4. I like lots of music made by black people. Soul, gospel, doo wop, hip hop, R&B. Just not reggae so much.

    Still, my dislike of reggae has moderated somewhat. Bob Marley still gives me pains, but I like rock steady well enough, often. Burning Spear is okay.

  5. I wasn’t accusing you of anything, Noah. I just have found such flat statements frequently correlate with suspicious racial attitudes, but not necessarily.

  6. I just saw Vampire Weekend in concert and now have all three of their albums playing simultaneously in my head. What can I say? I quite like them.

    But I didn’t get over my boredom with reggae till living in New Zealand where it is, inexplicably, the dominant musical style.

  7. Noah, have you ever heard any older/non-Legend Marley tracks? He is poorly served by the songs that have gained the most lasting popularity. Just curious how deep your hate goes…

    If no one else ever has, I should send you over a reggae/ska/rocksteady/dancehall mix, it’s a genre too often dismissed as cheese for frat boys (see: the Ghost World movie…is that where you want to find your allies, Noah, in the fucking Ghost World movie?). The cheese is cheese, but the good stuffis the best…

  8. I spent some time a while back trying to like reggae; like I said, I enjoy some Rock Steady. I’m not that into it though for the most part, but I wouldn’t say I hated it now, probably.

  9. I’m with Jason. Reggae is problematic, because its hard not to find it in the bro/dad BBQ context, most of the time. Also, its ‘vacation’ music, and somewhat married to some really exploitative ideas about the Caribbean. At the same time, I’m starting to listen to earlier, non Legend Marley works, and they’re beautiful. I’m tired of people dismissing this genre, whether in their pool party glee, or as a reaction to pool party glee.

    Contra. I was just having a conversation about Vampire Weekend, and Contra specifically, this week. I end up apologizing for this album more than defending it, but man, there are a few tracks I love on it. I really want to own up to the fact that I knew how this was a ‘problem’ album going in, and still loved it. I guess because I use it as my Bob Marley/ actual reggae substitute– its too painful to have that music playing in the background of a BBQ, or a pool party. Yet I like reggae at pool parties. I can put on Contra with a clean conscience.

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