Utilitarian Review 8/30/13

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On HU

Featured Archive Post: Caroline Small interviews Nina Paley about copyright and culture.

The real realism of Killer Elite.

Five haiku by me.

Chris Gavaler on time and timelessness in comics and politics.

James Romberger reviews a whole slew of recent comics.

Subdee compares Pacific Rim to the manga Attack on Titan.

Ng Suat Tong with a review of Suehiro Maruo’s adaptation of Edogawa Ranpo’s The Strange Tale of Panorama Island.

I provide a tour of some great muppet musical performances.
 
Utilitarians Everywhere

At the Atlantic I wrote about:

— how doofus Batman is the best Batman.

Miley Cyrus, Janis Joplin, and minstrelsy.

And more on Cyrus and Joplin and exemplary white people.

At Splice Today I write about

wishing school would start and I could be bored.

how I wish Jonathan Chait would stop encouraging us to go to war in the Middle East.

 
Other Links

Alex Pareene on how Roger Ailes is a paranoid nutcase.

Jessica Hopper on black metal. She sort of conflates all black metal with the fascist kind a bit, but it’s an interesting article nonetheless.

Jacob Canfield is pretty amazing in this tcj comment thread on indie titles and racism. Darryl Ayo has some great things to say too.

In fact…that whole thread is just really heartening for anyone who cares about comics. Yes, there are some folks who are defending obvious, stupid racism, in the same old we-love-Crumb-and-all-his-progeny vein. But there’s also just a ton of folks explaining why it’s time to move on from that particular dead end. Frank Santoro’s response to what is basically some pretty harsh criticism of his post is extremely balanced and respectful. It’s a serious discussion with a lot of smart people saying a lot of smart things about a topic that matters, in the best tradition of the Comics Journal. It made me really happy.

Muppet Music

Mahna

This originally ran on Madeloud a long time back.
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There’s nothing quite like a plush floppy critter singing — which of course explains the breakout success of John Denver. It also, to perhaps a lesser extent, accounts for the marvel of musical treasures which was the Muppet Show. Below are some of the highlights.

“Mahna Mahna”

“Mahna Mahna” debuted on Sesame Street in a prototype and then went big time on the Ed Sullivan show in 1969 with the familiar shaggy muppet and the cowlike pink Snowths. “Mah-na Mah-na” (with hyphens) was originally composed by Italian Pierro Umiliani for his Swedesploitation film, Sweden, Heaven or Hell. In the Muppet version, scandalous Scandinavian sex is replaced by scandalous scatting as the irrepressible be-sunglassed beat muppet provokes the Snowths snouts into escalating moues of disapproval. The skit was reprised as the first number on the first episode of the Muppet Show, a version which includes poor Kermit being mahna mahnaed by telephone.
 

The Mahna Mahna singer does a similar act in “Sax and Violence,” a skit also featuring saxophonist Zoot.

“You’ve Got a Friend”

Vincent Price, in perhaps his scariest role of all time, wears a hideous green jacket, terrifying neckware, and a hairstyle-that-should-not-be to lugubriously desecrate Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend.” Henson and company break out a whole murder of endearingly ugly muppets, but, as is his wont, Price emphatically steals the show. His expression of sweetly demented joy at :41 is almost as irresistible as his plodding off-key singing. Indisputably the best version of this song ever recorded.
 

“I’ve Got You Under My Skin”

This is another performance from the excellent Vincent Prince episode. A giant orange monster and a small frightened muppet duet on Cole Porter’s “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” while the former attempts to eat the later. Perhaps the best thing about the skit is that the violence in the song comes so naturally; you listen and realize, yeah, this…this is a creepy stalker song. “Don’t you know little fool/ you never can win!” the monster declares, and the poor tiny muppet trembles. As well he should, because that’s a really unpleasant way to declare your undying affection to the weird beak-nosed darling of your dreams.
 

“Orange Blossom Special” and “Jackson”

Johnny Cash does a medley of two of his biggest hits, assisted by Miss Piggy standing in for June Carter Cash. The buck-toothed hayseed muppet puffing like a train is pretty great, but of course the duet is the main thing. Johnny swivels his hips in a unhealthily lascivious manner when the pig makes her appearance resplendent in purple hat and green scarf. She reciprocates by heartlessly drawing attention to his coiffure (“go comb your hair!”) which looks like one of her fellow muppets has crawled up on his scalp and expired.
 

 

Cash’s performance of “Ghost Riders in the Sky” with Gonzo as cattle-herder is pretty great too.

“In the Navy”

After a brief selection of soothing flute music from the Peer Gynt Suite, we launch into the Village People classic performed by marauding Viking pigs. The usual Muppet Show protocol is to have the puppet-performed numbers voiced entirely by people who can’t sing. This skit, however is distinguished by being voiced almost entirely by people who can’t sing — there’s one guy there who can actually belt it out. You can hear him at 1:37 — “Can’t you see we need a hand!’ he declaims with some almost professional vibrato while everyone around him stomps forward like they’re in a skit involving marauding Viking pigs and nobody cares whether or not they’re on-key.
 

 

“Rockin’ Robin”

Of course, the “nobody can sing” dictum doesn’t apply to house-band the Electric Mayhem in general, or to Janice in particular (here voiced by Richard Hunt.) Though you might miss it behind the goofy interpolations and the cadaverous looking shuffling robin, this tune is actually a strikingly effective arrangement of this Jackson Five classic. The slick Motown R&B delivery system gets changed into a swinging jump blues, with some tasty bass and a soulful drum/gutbucket saxophone interchange. Plus you get to hear Animal yell “Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!”
 

 
Janice also sang “With a Little Help From My Friends,”. It’s even sillier…but still manages some musical integrity, I think.

Loretta Lynn

Loretta Lynn’s version of her it-sucks-to-be-a-woman lament is adorned with some of the most disturbing muppets ever created. Giant leering toothy monster muppets are cute…but these human muppet babies with their twisted little apple faces and gaping contorted mouths…eesh. If this were more widely marketed it could single-handedly solve the population crisis.
 

 
The baby muppets were featured in a number of other skits as part of Bobby Benson’s Baby Band, always to nightmarish effect.

“The Gambler”

It’s a little hard to believe how thin Kenny Rogers’ voice sounds on this — it was a sad twist of fate which caused him to attain stardom before the Auto-tune. The Gambler needs no vocal enhancement, though; he appears to be simultaneously channeling John Wayne and William Shatner. The old adult-sized human muppets aren’t as viscerally horrifying as Loretta Lynn’s babies, but there is something profoundly wrong about the scene where the Gambler’s spirit steps out of his hand-sewn body and begins spectrally shuffling while his withered seat mates launch into a shaky chorus. The skit is also notable for the muppets’ human hands, and for the fact that what they do with those hands is smoke and drink. You can be Disney isn’t going to let that happen again anytime soon.
 

“Bohemian Rhapsody”

Over the last couple of years the Muppet Studios have put together a number of viral videos. A split screen “Ode to Joy” featuring multiple Beakers was a major success, as was this everyone-and-their-chickens production of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Admittedly, for fans of the old show, the relatively slick production values are a little hard to take — and of course with Henson gone many of the voices don’t sound like they should. In addition, the recycling of favorite skits, from “Mahna Mahna” to Beeker meeping seem a little forced. But everything is forgiven for the segment where Animal calls plaintively, “Mama? Mama? Mama mama mama mama mama mama mama!” He’s such a sad and lonely psychopathic beast-creature. Even Freddie Mercury would have shed a tear.

 

There’s endless more clips worth watching; Beaker fronting the Electric Mayhem on “Feelings”; the epic Animal vs. Buddy Rich drum battle; Joan Baez singing “Will the Circle Be Unbroken” to a family of rats; Marvin Suggs and the Muppaphone; while being manhandled by monsters Alice Cooper performing “School’s Out”. You can surf from skit to skit endlessly on Youtube…or if you want an unbeatable catalog of all things muppet, check out the amazingly thorough Muppet Wiki.

Five Haiku

I had completely forgotten these ran at Splice Today way back when.
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Drat. I have no pants.
The days are cold; the nights, cold.
Here I sit. Help me.

The morning stretches
Like a woozy cat retching
On the alarm clock.

Who hates me? The Web
Will not tell me. Damn broken
Blog counter. Refresh.

Pouring flaming dung
On Legos is sad. Why won’t
You stop, drop, or roll?

“Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “In-
terrupting Spider-Man.” “In-
terrupting Spi-“ “Thwip!”
 

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Killer Elite is Really, Really Real. Really.

This first appeared a ways back on Splice Today.
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The most interesting part about Killer Elite is not the film’s claim that it’s derived from factual events. The most interesting part is how utterly, obviously preposterous the claim is. The veracity of the book The Feather Men, on which the film is based, is itself disputed. But there can be no dispute about the film. The assassin-tries-to-give-up-the-game-but-is-hauled-back-for-one-last-mission-while-a-new-love-blossoms plot is so hoary at this point that if it ever happened to a real assassin in real life, he’d shoot himself out of sheer mortification.

I doubt the filmmakers really intended to convince us in any serious way. Killer Elite isn’t a great movie by any means, but it’s not especially stupid either. I’m a little surprised at the critical drubbing it’s taken, to be honest. Obviously, if you went to this expecting great art you’d be disappointed, but only an idiot would go into this expecting great art. I paid my money expecting to see Jason Stratham glower pleasingly from improbably choreographed fight scene to improbably choreographed fight scene, and there was indeed pleasing glowering and improbable choreography. As a bonus, his sensitive killer schtick was surprisingly convincing. When Stratham learns that his associates have offed yet another random innocent, he always manages to look just pissed enough to show you he has a conscience, but not so pissed that you forget he’s a hardened killer. After a bystander he’s been holding a gun on screams and he fails to shoot her, his look of regret suggests both self-reproach for not pulling the trigger and self-reproach for ever thinking about pulling the trigger in the first place. Compared to his restrained performance, DeNiro’s oleaginous mugging is nauseating — but, to be fair, I expected that when I went into the theater too. On the plus side, though, DeNiro isn’t actually onscreen that much; he only really blights the beginning and end.

So like I said; it’s a genre film with a solid lead, and it delivers its genre pleasures in an efficient manner. The filmmakers are not geniuses, but they seem to know what they’re about. Why pretend that any of us believe for a moment that this is a true story?

The first answer I came up with is nostalgia. The film takes place (we are told repeatedly) in 1980, during the Cold War. It’s an espionage film set in the heydey of espionage; you could see the whole thing as an homage to James Bond or John Le Carre. We’re supposed to pretend its “real” to better enjoy the period feel.

The only problem with this explanation is that there isn’t a whole lot of period feel. The characters don’t have cell phones, admittedly, and there are some truly heinous unlicensed mutton-chops, but there isn’t any real Mad-Men-esque effort to recreate the ambience of an earlier time. Killer Elite doesn’t even take advantage of that Cold War staple, the Russians. Instead, the movie’s plot revolves around complicated machinations instigated by British meddling in the Middle East — hardly a scenario that needs to be plucked from three decades ago.

Which may be the point. The movie opens with a tease noting that the events of the film take place in a time of economic recession as well as of “revolution, assassination and covert operation.” In other words, the more things change, the more they don’t. Whether Oman then or Iraq now, the Brits (and the Americans, of course) are still staggering around unscrupulously searching for oil and finding blood.

The movie doesn’t really follow through here either though. Most of the film is set in Britain, not the Middle East, and while there’s some vague jowl-shaking about how SAS involvement in Oman was a bad idea, nobody seems to care all that much. In the end, the westernized scion of the sheik wants to enjoy his wealth, not repel the infidel. If espionage fails, capitalism doesn’t — which facilitates the requisite ironic twist ending, but doesn’t do much to explain Osama bin Laden.

There’s still that question, then: why pretend it’s real? So I did what I do when I’m stumped and asked my wife. As is usually the case, she had an instant answer. “Assassins!” she said. “Everybody wants to believe in assassins! It’s just like they want to believe in ninjas.”

It does have the ring of truth. An assassin movie is a little like a ghost story told round a campfire; pretending it’s more than a fiction is part of the genre. Killer Elite doesn’t have anything on its mind in particular; it’s just fulfilling its function.
 

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Utilitarian Review 8/24/13

On HU

Featured Archive Post: Aishwarya Subramanian on Timpa, an Indian analogue to Tintin.

Chris Gavaler on animal men and superhero dualism.

Ng Suat Tong on xkcd’s Time and the oddly muted reaction from comic critics.

Jacob Canfield on the video game Dragon’s Crown and in-group sexism.

Alex Buchet continues his prehistory of the superhero, this time focusing on vampires, victorians and vendettas.

Me on how Zita the Space Girl is not a strong female character, thank goodness.
 
Utilitarians Everywhere

The Toast published a poem I wrote about mustaches, with illustrations by Bert Stabler.

At the Atlantic I review Drinking Buddies, an honest to goodness decent romcom.

At Splice Today I wrote about:

a Gillette ad that doesn’t challenge gender roles, no matter how many people say it does.

Hugo Schwyzer and networking for social justice and profit.

— the ugly spectacle of white anti-racist Tim Wise on the defensive.

 
Other Links

Vice on how the Best Music Writing anthology is dead.

Jaimie Utt on the “that’s racist against white people” argument.

John Scalzi on using storify to stalk.

Who school reform is meant to benefit (hint: not children.)
 

You Don’t Need to Be Strong If You’re a Kid

Last week over at the New Statesman, Sophia McDougall had a long piece about how she’s sick of strong female characters.

Nowadays the princesses all know kung fu, and yet they’re still the same princesses. They’re still love interests, still the one girl in a team of five boys, and they’re all kind of the same. They march on screen, punch someone to show how they don’t take no shit, throw around a couple of one-liners or forcibly kiss someone because getting consent is for wimps, and then with ladylike discretion they back out of the narrative’s way.

McDougall also points out that men don’t have to be strong — they can be addicts like Sherlock Holmes or indecisive like Hamlet or puny like Banner. Being male makes them the center of attention, so they don’t need to constantly prove that they’re tough.

Or, to put it another way, they don’t have to constantly prove that they’re men.

McDougall doesn’t quite get to this point, but one thing that you could say is happening in films like Captain America is a disavowal of femininity. Captain America, as the weak Steve Rogers, needs the super-soldier serum in order to be a man. Peggy Carter, a woman, is in an even more agonized position. Rogers can show weakness and overcome it, but the weakness in Peggy, the femininity, is intrinsic, and has to be constantly disavowed and/or smushed. She has to be hyperbolically competent and violent or dissolve into her own amorphous femininity, like the guys turning into puddles of ichor in The Thing.

Part of what has happened in pop culture, I think, is that the focus of misogyny has shifted, at least in part, off of feminine bodies, and onto femininity. It isn’t women who are held in contempt, but the things traditionally associated with women — weakness, passivity, frivolity. But, inevitably, the things traditionally associated with women are still associated with women — which means that folks with female bodies have to disavow femininity constantly if they’re not to be tainted with it. They’re left, indeed, without much space to do anything else. Men can be weird, or geeky, or odd, or conflicted, or even weak, but women have to just spend all their time shouting at the top of their lungs that they’re not women.

In that context, it’s kind of interesting to look at Ben Hatke’s Zita The Space Girl which I read recently. Zita has at least one of the problems that McDougall highlights as causing the strong female character phenomena. There’s really only one character who’s a girl (though many of the robots and animals are of indeterminate gender.) But that doesn’t seem to translate into the kind of princess-who-knows-kung-fu nonsense that McDougall discusses. Zita doesn’t know kung fu. She is pushy (we first see her engaged in some low-key bullying of her nerdy friend Joshua) but the pushiness is figured (in this initial scene) as a character flaw — a weakness, not a strength. When they find a weird alien remote control, she insists on pushing the button, sending Joshua into the other dimension and generally messing everything up.
 

zita005

 
Don’t get me wrong; Zita is totally a hero. She’s extremely brave; she goes off into the other dimension to rescue Josh though she doesn’t have any idea what’s there. And she’s compassionate and smart and game (though not exactly feisty.) But a lot of what makes her a hero is not “strength” and “competence” (stereotypical male heroic traits) but more feminine attributes — compassion, empathy, a talent for making friends, and a capacity for self-sacrifice.
 

zita007

 
So why is Captain America so unwilling to let it’s female lead be female, while Zita the Space Girl seems happy to shuffle male and female characteristics. Why isn’t Zita afraid that its protagonist will be too feminine?

Probably a big part of the reason is that Ben Hatke is just a smarter creator and a better artist than the hive mind that put together Captain America — certainly, I would say that Zita the Space Girl is pretty much categorically better than Captain America as a work of art (not a high bar or anything, but Zita clears it.)

But I also think that part of what’s happenening in Zita, part of why she can be weak as a strength, and strong as a weakness, and not know kung fu, is that she’s a kid. Kids, even female kids, don’t have to prove their men. If they’re not fully competent and self-actualized and don’t know martial arts, that’s not because they’re victims of creeping feminiity; it just means they haven’t grown up yet. If she pouts when she’s angry at you rather than clubbing the guy she’s angry at…well, that’s not because she’s a weak woman, it’s because she’s a nine year old or whatever, and he’s way bigger than her.
 

zita006

 

What we’ve got, then, I’d argue, is a kind of tomboy-in-reverse. Once upon a time, younger female characters were given a special dispensation to take on masculine attributes; to be adventurous or daring or competent or even violent. Now, in a perfect reversal, the girl’s youth gives her a special dispensation, not to be masculine, but to be weak.

Utilitarian Review 8/17/13

On HU

I took a week off here for the most part, but we did have one piece:

Chris Gavaler on Elysium.

Utilitarians Everywhere

I got to write about feral hippies and the new Horse’s Ha record at the Chicago Reader.

At the Atlantic I wrote about:

Geek girls and the Spectacular Now.

the fact that feminist comic books are really popular.

At Esquire I listed ten female superhero movies I’d like to see.

At Splice Today I wrote about:

Indonesia and genocide and why we shouldn’t be trusting our government to spy on us.

the seizure I had over the weekend, and why health care is so expensive.

Other Links

Interview with Mikki Kendall and Flavia Dzodan at the Hairpin about feminism and race and Hugo Schwyzer.

Jaimie Utt on Hugo Schwyzer and being a feminist guy.

Madison Moore on feeling sorry for Lady Gaga.

Subashini on awkwardness and gender.
 

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